Words Unspoken
by Baleful Eyes
Summary: The Hero of Ferelden came back to Kirkwall to tell her family what she'd been meaning to tell them for years. To show them that she had become someone, even though she was a mage. What's she to do when she finds that all she knew is gone? Then a familiar face appears, and memories come back. Memories of words unspoken. [possibly just a oneshot] [cover credit goes to sandara of dA]
1. Coming Home

A grin was evident on Shylee's face from the moment she entered Kirkwall. The guards let her in as soon as they confirmed her identity. She asked for directions, and the guard, looking rather bemused, told her where she had to go to reach her destination. She went down the stairs the guard had pointed her to. After about a five minute walk, she turned a corner and immediately frowned.

This couldn't be the place. It was impossible. Still, she continued walking until she reached the house she had been looking for.

There was no doubt in her mind now. She was in the right place, but— "What happened to the house here?" she asked when she saw a dwarf headed in her direction.

"Huh?" the dwarf said, looking at the woman and then at the house. "Oh… They're renovating."

"Renovating?" Shylee echoed.

"Yes," the dwarf replied. "Renovating."

Shylee stared at the dwarf in complete befuddlement.

"Well is anyone _there?_" Shylee pressed.

"I'm not sure," the dwarf replied. "I think they may have gone to Antiva for the month."

"I'm having a hard time believing this," Shylee said.

"Oh, of course," said the dwarf, "_no one _trusts a surface dwarf."

Shylee put her face in her hands, resisting the urge to beat the dwarf upside the head with her staff.

"Please, I need to find whoever lives there," Shylee begged.

"And I need a new pair of shoes, but alas," said the dwarf.

Shylee groaned.

"Varric, what's going on?" a woman said as she approached the two. "Who is this?"

"Not sure," replied the dwarf, displeased with the woman's sudden appearance. "Says she needs to find the people who live there."

"Can I help you?" the woman said unsurely. "Who exactly are you looking for?"

"I don't see how that's any of your concern," Shylee said, trying to control her temper.

"Well you're not going to find whoever it is you're looking for if you don't ask anyone," the woman said, sounding more annoyed than angry.

"Like I said, I'm looking for the people who live here," Shylee reiterated.

"That's not very specific," said the woman. "I know most of the people in this city, but I don't exactly keep track of where they all live."

"Hawke, who is it you're bitching at now?" came a familiar voice. The two women and the surface dwarf turned to look at the speaker.

"Well nice going, Rivaini. You told her Hawke's name."

"Not that hard to find out," the Rivaini pointed out.

"I'm sorry, but, do I know you?" said Shylee. "You look… rather familiar."

"Hmm… oh, I remember you!" said the Rivaini. "You're that Warden Zevran was following around, right? Didn't you become the Hero of the Blight or something?"

"More or less," Shylee said. "Isabela, was it?"

"Last time I checked."

"Wait, so you two know each other?' said the dwarf.

"No, I just happen to know the name of every stranger I come across," Shylee said, rolling her eyes.

"Fair enough."

"So then, you're a mage, right?" said the other woman. "And… an Amell?"

"Yes," Shylee admitted. "Why do you ask? Are you an off-duty templar or something?"

"Or something," said Hawke. "I'm the one who lives here. My mother Leandra was an Amell. What can I do for you?"

"You live here?" Shylee said. "In this dump? What happened to it?"

"From what I know, Gamlen lost it all looking for the Gem of Karashok," Hawke explained.

"What?" Shylee said, dumbfound. "But that can't… They wouldn't have allowed… What about the viscount?"

"Viscount Dumar?"

"What? No. The viscount is…" Shylee trailed off.

"When was the last time you were here?" Varric asked.

"I don't know. Twenty years. Maybe more."

"Well that explains it," he said.

"Did you think that Aristide Amell was viscount?" Hawke asked.

Hesitantly, Shylee nodded.

"You should read this," Hawke said, handing her a piece of paper yellowed with age.

"_It's truly sad what happened to the Amells, isn't it? I still remember Grandmother talking about the balls Lord Aristide used to hold at their estate and the Antivan violin players and dancers from Afsaana. No expense was spared and no one would dare miss it, lest someone think they weren't worthy of an invitation.  
_"_And then poor Revka had the child. Magical talent, running in one of Kirkwall's most prominent families? The templars had considered Aristide to be viscount after Threnhold's arrest. Can you imagine the scandal had he been chosen? They whisked the child away to the Circle, and the Amells simply had no luck after that. Leandra ran off with a Fereldan apostate and then Damion was accused of smuggling. Poor Lord Fausten almost bankrupted his family trying to get the charges dropped, but I hear Viscount Marlowe simply wanted to get the Amells out of the picture. And it worked too, didn't it? By the time Lord Fausten got sick, there was only young Gamlen left and a mountain of debt.  
_"_I spoke to Dulci just the other day, and apparently Gamlen is now living in some Lowtown shack - sounds like the sort of character you'd cross a street to avoid! And let's not even talk about the estate.  
_"_Mother says we should remember the Amells because that sort of thing can happen to any one of us. You know the old saying: 'A Marcher's fortune rises and falls with the tide.' If you ask me, this is just another misfortune that magic brings to honest folk. Andraste help that poor family, whatever lies in store for them._"

"Poor Revka?" Shylee said. "Poor _Revka_? Was I really that much of a misfortune?"

"Shylee, you should take a seat. You look pale," Hawke said, having already suspected the woman of being an Amell. There wasn't much of a family resemblance between Hawke and Shylee; the only aspects of them that looked similar were their pale skin and sky blue eyes. Although they didn't know it, the two also possessed similar fiery attitudes. "You're the Hero of Ferelden, aren't you?"

Shylee nodded, not caring at all about Ferelden or her title at the moment. She hated her family for getting rid of her. She'd come to Kirkwall just so she could boast to them! Had her mother even cared?

Or did she want her gone like everyone else?

"Where's Revka?" Shylee asked.

"I… I don't know, Shylee," Hawke admitted. If it was even possible, Shylee's pale skin become even paler. "That's it; I'm getting Anders."

As Hawke walked away, Shylee's eyes widened, and all remaining color receded from her face.

"You might want to hurry Hawke. She's not looking good." Varric turned to Shylee. "Don't worry, Warden. You'll be fine…" After a few seconds, realization sank in, and Varric's eyes widened. "Oh, shit. Blondie was a—Hawke, don't do that!"

"What are you talking about, Varric?" Hawke asked, but immediately stopped when she entered, as did Anders, who was right behind her. "Oh, shit."

"My words exactly," Varric said.

Before anyone could say anything else, the Warden immediately got up and walked out of the small clinic.

"Do you plan on just standing there like an idiot, or are you going to do something?" Varric said, eyeing Anders.

"I can't just—," he was interrupted when Hawke pushed him forward.

"Go after her," she said.

Anders nodded and left the clinic. When he exited he looked from side to side, and saw faint footprints in the dirt leading up to the old, abandoned Amell house.

With a reluctant sigh, Anders entered the ruined manor.

"So are we going to spy on them?" Varric asked, giving Hawke an evil grin.

"Of course," she replied, with a grin of her own, just as maniacal.

"Well, I certainly didn't come here expecting to find this mess," said Isabela.

Hawke nearly groaned, already having a suspicion as to why Isabela was there. "Isabela, Anders already told you he _can't_ help! It's your own fault for getting these diseases anyway," Hawke said.

"That's not why I'm here!" Isabela exclaimed. "And whatever diseases I may or may not have are none of your concern! I just came to see you; I figured you'd be here, since you're practically in love with that mage."

"Shut up, Isabela!" Hawke warned.

"Yeah, Rivaini," Varric said. "She and Blondie are just friends. We all know Hawke and the elf are an item."

"No, they split up, remember?" Isabela replied.

"I hate the both of you," Hawke said in an icy tone.

"Let's just go invade Blondie's personal life," Varric said, motioning for the Amell house, where Shylee had no doubt gone.

"Sounds fun!" Isabela said. "Count me in!"

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The house was dark and empty, filled with cobwebs. Shylee's light footsteps didn't make a sound as she stepped carefully across the floor, observing the house that she just barely remembered.

She walked into a small room; above a fireplace was a crest which seemed oddly familiar. She touched it, as if she hoped it would bring back some distant memory.

She heard the creaking of a floorboard and quickly turned around, staff out, prepared to attack whoever was there.

Hesitantly, Anders stepped forward.

"What are you doing here?" Shylee asked, not bothering to draw back.

"I came to talk to you," he explained.

"Well of course; I'm not an idiot," she said. "I mean what are you doing _here_? In Kirkwall? Why did you leave the Wardens?"

"I… I," Anders couldn't find the words, or the courage, to let her know why he'd left.

"Wonderful explanation," Shylee said sarcastically. "Feel free to continue at any time."

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"Think he's going to be able to tell her?" Hawke asked her two companions, the three of them standing at the top of the staircase to listen in on Anders' conversation with the Warden.

"He doesn't have the balls," Varric said.

"Agreed," said Isabela.

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After a moment, Shylee raised an eyebrow. "What? No sarcastic comeback?" her frown deepened.

Anders could kill a templar without flinching, yet for some reason, he seemed afraid of simply telling Shylee the truth.

"I couldn't stay with the Wardens. I wasn't free; it was just another form of imprisonment." It wasn't a complete lie; he _did_ feel that way.

Shylee let out a sigh of defeat. "I understand; I feel that way at times, too, but still, Anders! You shouldn't have just left without saying anything! You should have told someone! You should have…" her voice trailed off. Shylee knew that Anders had left, but she was unaware of the gory mess he had left behind.

"I know," he said, somewhat disgusted with himself for lying. "…I know."

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"I can't believe he just _did_ that!" Hawke said, trying to keep her voice down.

"That son of a bitch!" Isabela added, sounding rather proud of Anders.

"He couldn't even admit it," Varric pointed out, sounding shocked, yet by no means displeased.

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"Why did you come here?" Anders asked. "To Kirkwall? To find your family?"

"Yes," Shylee admitted. "Jowan had always said he didn't care about his family. His mother thought he was cursed; she wanted him gone. I don't remember what my mother thought of me. I don't know if she wanted me gone, or if I was taken away from her.  
"I don't know why I came for them. To brag, to show them I'm not worthless; I'm not sure. Now that they're not here, I… I don't know what to do, or how to feel. For all I know my mother's dead.  
"The Blight's over, the Mother and the Architect are dead. What am I to do now? I'm not needed anymore."

"Are you kidding me?" Anders said, in a manner that sounded somewhat like that of his old self. "That's the exact kind of thing you used to tell me _not_ to think. You're still needed. Mages will _always_ need help against the templars. Do you know how many mages look up to you? A mage stopped the Blight; _you_ stopped the Blight. Mages still need you."

"And what am I supposed to do?" Shylee exclaimed.

"Help them!"

She was silent for a moment, pondering his words. "Where do I go?"

"You can stay with me." Shylee jumped when she heard the voice, and she and Anders turned to see Hawke stepping forward.

"How much did you hear?" Anders asked with a sigh.

"Oh, not much," Varric said, coming into sight, along with Isabela.

"We just happened to be in the neighborhood," Hawke explained, scratching the back of her head in embarrassment. "You can stay with me; I live here, actually. Different part though; a lot less… empty and… dusty. It's technically your house, and anyway, we're cousins, aren't we?"

"Second cousins," Shylee corrected, grinning. "Second cousins."


	2. Interlude

"Wait. So the reason she went to Kirkwall was to find her family?"

"That's what she said," Isabela replied.

"And she really had no clue that this other Warden, Ander, was there?"

"No idea," Isabela confirmed. "He'd up and left. Made damn well sure that no one would be able to find him."

"Well this certainly changes things. She wasn't there to help the Champion with-"

"-None of us knew that _that _was going to happen, love."

"That Anders fellow must have. Maker forbid... did she help him?"

"No. Not intentionally, anyway. But she ended up getting tangled up in it anyway.

"Just like the rest of us."


End file.
